Treasure Every Moment

    "Treasure Every Moment". It doesn't matter if it's a good or a bad moment, just treasure it. Why the bad moments do you ask? Well, this may be my weird way of looking at things, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but think about it, the bad moments are what builds or defines us. HOW do they define us? Well, take my situation of losing all our things in Auction. It was a really bad situation, and rather than moping and being depressed all the time, I took that moment, and turned it into a POSITIVE. I let a LOT of my things go that were donated to Deseret Industries, kept telling myself that they're just things, they can be replaced and have tried to move on. I am seeking justice, possibly facing a law suit, but not out of revenge. I want to stop this guy from doing this to anyone else. I admit, it would be nice to get some sort of money for my things, but my main goal is to make the public aware of what kind of business this guy runs and maybe stop him from doing this to others. I was given a chance to take the things that were mine, out of Deseret Industries, but though grateful, told the management that it can go to others who need them more than I do. The road isn't over yet, and though it's hard, I try to keep positive but I do. With how my year is starting out, it's enough to make people throw their hands up in the air, shout "I give up" and just be negative all the time. Though it's been tempting, I look to the little things in life and find a smile each day. It's truly amazing how even the littlest things can change your mood in a second.
   "Treasure Every Moment". Since I was put in the Library at church, I've basically become a social recluse or outcast. Nobody talks to me, I feel like I'm totally avoided, and when I try to spark conversation with anyone, it doesn't last long. Sunday, as I was in there organizing things, Brother Mardis stopped in and asked how I was doing. We talked for a little bit and it was one of the best moments I've had thus far. Nobody comes in to see me unless they need something. On occasion, the few friends I have there will stop in and say hi because they know that I feel like I'm in a "hole" when I'm in the library, so to have my Home Teacher come in and talk with me, it felt great. That's a moment I'll definitely cherish. I cherish the first time I laid eyes on Mason. He was this fluffy little thing squished into a small kennel with his 2 siblings. At first I wasn't interested in him, but as we watched all 3 of them in the little "Adoption Room" he caught my eye. While his siblings were fighting for our attention, he cowered under the chair, and when my eyes met his, he peed on the floor. It was an instant connection, this shy little ball of fluff wanting nothing more than somebody to love him. It was truly love at first sight and a moment I've treasured. I also treasure the day I had to say goodbye to him forever. It was the worst day of the year for me, and for him I'm sure. As I held him, waiting for the Doc to come in and end his pain, I looked him in the eyes, and he looked back into mine, thanking me for taking a chance on a shy little puppy so many years ago. That one moment, when our eyes met, that moment, is a moment I have treasured. That was the one moment when our souls basically reached out to each other, where we were able to talk to each other, understand each other, and know how much we loved each other.
   "Treasure Every Moment" to me, is a very powerful phrase. Good or bad, every moment is a moment that can define you. I have no regrets, been hurt too many times in my life to count and will likely be hurt many times to come, but how we handle what's thrown at us,  THAT's  what defines us. "Treasure Every Moment" because the next one may just be your last.

Positively 2014

 I can honestly say that I won't miss 2013. It was full of good and bad, and totally ended on a bad note. Though my sister got divorced, her endowments a month or so later, made a sweet new friend, and my brother and his family visited TWICE this year, all the bad things that have happened this last year don't need to be repeated in my book. I was told that I am not a likeable person, another person told me that I should move where nobody knows everything about me, maybe then I could make friends. These two ladies made me think about how I interact with others, what I value in life and how negative I really am. One of my largest problems I have is that I feel like I'm never understood. People don't really take the time to get to know me, they just scratch the surface and leave it at that. I have a LOT that goes on in my life, things that nobody really knows about and when others look at me, they don't stop to see what's going on, they just assume I'm a bundle of negativity instead of the truth that it's all fear, insecurities, and sadness. This past year, I found one sweet woman who actually took the time to get to know ME, not just the surface, but ME. She has been inspiring to me because she deals with pain each and every day, struggles with how others treat her and is just as misunderstood as I am. She has been a little ray of sunshine in this storm of a year, 2013.
  The day before Thanksgiving, I lost an Aunt, Sandra. She was the oldest of my dad's siblings, and wasn't very close to us at all. It wasn't a total shock to me and for those of you who are reading this thinking "that's horrible" well, you should know the family first. Anyway, her passing reminded me that I had some things in storage I wanted to make sure didn't have water damage from our previous floods. Thanksgiving Day Dave and I loaded the boys in the truck and headed out to our Storage Unit. He'd been trying all through October to get a hold of the owner of the units and let him know we were getting him a payment, but never heard back from him. We went to our units and saw there was no red locks indicating we were near auction with our stuff, so I got the keys, and tried the locks. To my horror, the locks were changed, so Dave called the owner again when we got home. Miraculously, he answered and told us that he'd auctioned our stuff off the weekend before and that it'd been in the paper for a few weeks. He didn't seem to care that we didn't get the paper, or that we'd been trying to get a hold of him. I was crushed and just so upset. I had all my belongings in there, wedding certificates, documents, 35yrs of Stuffed Animals I'd collected, cars, toys, clothes, EVERYTHING was in there, gone.
  I got lucky and found the person who bought our stuff, the following day, by accident. I found him donating some of my things to Deseret Industries, and asked him for a few things back, namely my wedding bouquet and a wooden Tiki that I had inhereted from Grandma Wanda. He agreed to get them to me if he still had them, but everything else was pretty much gone. Anyway, during the holidays, we focused on building a case against the storage company for wrongfully selling our things. We tried to enjoy family, my brother and his family's visit and each other. On January 2nd, we found out that my sweet Great Aunt Ann, my grandma's sister, passed away on the 30th of December. On January 3rd, my Dad's other Sister, Marre' passed away as well, leaving an immense ache in my heart as they BOTH were wonderful women who had an impact on my life. Their funerals BOTH were held on the same day, at the same time, but in different states. I went to Aunt Ann's and it was BEAUTIFUL. With the deaths in the family, losing all my belongings, I've done an incredible ammount of soul searching. I have decided to make this new year as positive as I can. I have started this year out pretty rough, but am determined to finish it on a positive note. Dave has won an all expenses paid trip to Hollywood for him and I in Feb. He is also entered in a trip to Miami, FL that he'll find out about on Valentines Day. This year I'm putting ALL my faith in the Lord, focusing on him and centering my life more around him than I have in the past. I am not faithful in posting on my blogs, so for now, my goal is to do 1 entry a month, maybe more if I can.