Happy Holidays

 A few weeks ago, Janelle referred me to Sears when she got her pictures taken. I was called and notified that I  had won a FREE 10x13 portrait and sitting, and set up a date to go in a week later.
 Through the week, I began to realize that I really didn't want my picture taken, so I sat down with Dave and after a nap the night before the appointment, I remembered always hearing Mom say how she would like a picture of ALL her grandkids together. I thought, and thought, and thought some more, then went to Dave and told him about an idea I had. Instead of Dave and I getting our pictures taken, we thought it'd be a nice surprise if we got Tucker, Josie and Troy together for a session so to speak.  Dave called and made arrangements with Marsh and Emily about it, made sure they liked the idea, while I talked to Heather and Chas. We all thought it'd be a great idea, and take advantage of a free session.  That following day, we ALL made it to the appointment, and though Josie was trying to sleep and often cranky, it was a lot of fun. This is one of the versions of the photo that I chose. It was the best of all the kids together, and the one for mom is in color, and the 10x13. There were some really cute ones of the kids separately, but we couldn't afford it at the time, and hopefully we can order those soon as well.
  I hope you all enjoy the picture, Dan, Chrystal, I've got one for you guys that 'll come soon. Other than that, life here has been pretty busy. We've been making and preparing Christmas Gifts, babysitting, working, and trying to help out around the house. For the first time in 5yrs, I'm excited for Christmas and have been watching Christmas Movies with the kids, looking at the lights as we drive at night, and just do window shopping. I've succeeded at riding the workout bike at Inches A Weigh, and will eventually be able to follow my meal plan. Well, it's time to get ready to workout. Happy Holidays to everyone and take care!

Not Again!

  Yesterday I woke up with a little pain in my lower left side of my abdomen. As the day progressed, so did the pain, and now it's almost unbearable. I haven't made it to the doctor to be checked out, but have a really strong hunch it's a Kidney Stone. I haven't got the money to pay the "patient portion" of the office call, so I've basically put myself on a mostly liquid diet, and avoiding things that can cause the Kidney Stones.
  As soon as I possibly can, or if the pain gets worse, I'm going to visit the doctors to find out for sure what's going on. I hope that it's not anything worse than that, and that things will run smoothly.

What a Day

 Well, I know it's been about a week or so since my last entry, so I figured, it's time to do one now. Monday, after a long discussion with Dave and some "calculating" I joined Inches-A-Weigh. For those of you who don't know about IAW, either google it, or I'll tell you that basically it's a Lazy Woman's way to lose weight, at least with the exercise.
  They set me up with a personalized menue, diet and I have my own "coach", and part of the sign up includes supplements. Some of the Supplements are Folic Acid, calcium, and Fatty Acid. I took a Fatty Acid suppliment today, and am regretting it. Since I took it, I have burped fish, and for those who know me, know that I cannot stand the taste of fish. It literally makes me physically ill, and I've gotta do something about it.
  I know it's essential to reaching my goal weight, and well, I'm not gonna tell you what it is, or how long it's SUPPOSED to take for me to get there if I follow the program religiously, but there's gotta be another way to go about it. I am going to see what they can do when I go in tonight. No matter what I eat or drink, whenever I burp I want to puke because of the taste that comes up.

  As if that wasn't enough, one of the kids I babysit pooped his pants. He's partially potty trained, in the sense that he can pee in the toilet, but won't poop in it. Instead, he poops in his pull up without warning and sad to say, it's NEVER solid. Today, he'd gone all up his back, outside and down the sides of his jeans, the back of his shirt, even his socks. He'd gotten it on the floor, blocks and somehow managed to make it to the bathroom without getting it anywhere else.
  I took the liberty to clean up the livingroom floor and then bleach the blocks first, while I was doing this, the kid was standing in the bathtub so he wouldn't get the bathmats all messy. While scrubbing the livingroom carpet, I burped, got a gross look on my face and Aunt Ann, who had shown up, asked me what was wrong. I said I didn't know what was worse, the smell or the taste of the suppliment. They all laughed, at my expense as to be expected, and then I went about cleaning things up. It took nearly an hour to make sure I got everything cleaned, including bathing a really embarassed little boy. After I got it all taken care of, I lit a candle, bleached everything and then decided to share the experinece with the world.
  The whole time I was thinking "It's part of the job" and though I'm ready to puke, I handled it pretty well. Since then, there were no accidents, or problems. It was basically smooth sailing and now we're just down to Kaitlynn and Madison. Looking forward to my workout tonight and then on to see if we can get Tika into a new home. I will keep you all posted on everything that goes on. Sometime Josie will enter this world today too.

Only One Of MY Animals

 A week or so ago, Dave and I had been asked to watch Troy overnight while Heather and Chas spent some time camping with Chas', I mean, Monroe's family. I agreed to it, and we put the Bassinet in our room, by the bed. After they returned, I never got around to taking it out of our room, and the other night, Duster decided he'd sleep on our bed.
  Merlyn tried to jump on our bed but Dave kicked him off, so I called him back up thinking that he'd curl up against me as he usually does. Instead, he jumped into the bassinet, and slept there all night long, and into the day. It was funny to see him sleeping there, and I am SO not going to make that a habit, and it's definitely not staying in my room much longer. I think it's safe to say that my animals are unique. They've all got their own little quirks. Merlyn and where he sleeps, how he walks, and his fears. Mason with his "Motherly" instincts, even Jeriko, Dave's 1 1/2 eared cat that is cross eyed.

 OK, so here's the story. I went to the dentist today to get a crown, for the 2nd time. As I feared, it didn't fit, so they had to make mold #3 and send it back. I made the appointment to return to have it put on, and while I was there, I was joking with the assistant about eating some Bit O Honey.
  She said not to eat it, that it wouldn't be a good idea, and I just shrugged it off. Later this evening, I was chewing on some Bit O Honey, mainly because it helps with my cough, when all of a sudden, I found some pieces in it. I looked through the piece that I was chewing on,  and found my filling, and half of my tooth. I guess now I have learned my lesson to listen to what I'm told. I now have to wait through the weekend, possibly longer, to have this one fixed. So very lovely isn't it?
  The look on Dave's face was absolutely priceless when I showed it to him, he just about died of shock. It doesn't hurt, just annoys me because my lip rubs against the "hole" left there. We'll see how things go. All I know, I need to back off on the sweets, which I want to do anyway. I'll keep everyone posted and provide pictures of the final results as they come. I just hope they can do something with it, so I don't have a missing tooth.

The ONLY Time

 Today Dave celebrated his 32nd birthday. He was fortunate to get the day off of work, but I got sick. I am getting a sinus infection (surprise, surprise) and a bit of a cold. Although it was his day off, and I wanted him to enjoy it how he wanted, I was allowed to lie down for a while, and he took care of the kids. Fortunately, it was a easy day with the kids, and we didn't have many issues with them.
  When asked what kind of cake he wanted, Dave chose a Yellow cake with Strawberry frosting. I jokingly said that if I didnt' know any better, I'd question my husband's sexuality, but really, how can you avoid PINK frosting if it's Strawberry flavored. He wanted it from scratch, but went along with a cake mix instead because I'm under the weather. I think it was a good day for him though. He got Iron Man 2, a bag of "goodies", and his baby brother came for the cake and ice cream. Everyone got along, and he seemed to have been happy. Just too bad the rest of his family couldn't make it, that would've been the best gift he could've ever had.

Through My Eyes

One day on Facebook, I ran across this photo that was taken by somebody who used to be in our ward. I really liked it, so as hypocritical as it was, I took it, without asking him, but then let him know that I had it. I didn't post it anywhere other than my desktop, until now, but to credit the photographer, it was taken by Bob Davies.

I thought this was a very beautiful picture. At first I thought of just the road, with the clouds and the fields, just a nice, natural type photo. Lately, I've been struggeling with my inner demons, feeling at my absolute lowest in life, and have even carried thoughts that I do not want under ANY circumstances. The other day, I was sitting here, looking through pictures and ran across this one again. This time, I looked at it in a different light. At first glance, you just see a road, but if you look closer, you can see the dirt road, but on the left it's dark, and on the right, light.

As if it were "Divine Intervention" I immediately thought of the road as the "straight and narrow path" of Lehi's dream. You can chose between good and bad, dark or light. After looking at the photo in that way, it's got a huge spiritual meaning to me, and oddly enough, I find a bit of comfort in it. It reminds me that Jesus is here, that he will never give me any more than I can handle, and that I can lean on him if I need to.  Even though I am at my darkest and deepest low, I know I can make it through this, if not alone, then with his help, and the help of the few around me who love me.

Diaper Cakes

Ok, so the latest trend for a baby shower is to gift a diaper cake. For those of you who don't know what one of those are, they're diapers that have been rolled up, rubber banded and placed in the form of a cake, covered or uncovered, then decorated with miscellanious baby items.

The one I made for Heather when Troy was coming, was a round one, and my first. The one that is pictured here is for Emily's shower, and I decided to experiment a bit, and made a square one. It turned out a bit better than I expected, at least the front of it. The back needed a lot of work, and if I could've cut the material I used as "frosting" I know it'd have looked even better. The "frosting" material is actually the bottom of a blanket I'm gonna tie for Josie. I've also been asked to crochet her a shawl rather than a blanket, so the hunt is on for a good, easy pattern that I can work on. It is just a few weeks away, but I'm up for the challenge. Maybe I can focus on that rather than my depression, and work on a better, happier me.
  Though the Diaper Cakes can be a bit spendy to assemble, it's a lot of fun for me, and I enjoy doing it. Maybe with time, they'll get to looking better each and every time I make one.

Fallen Tears and Shredded Dreams

 This morning around 4, I woke up to some pain in my tooth, so I got up, took a pain pill, and while waiting for it to kick in, I got online to check my stuff on Facebook out. I got into one of my accounts, found that I had a message, and clicked on it to  read it. 
  Backing up, the people in the photo is of one of my really good friends, Michael "TK" Norris, and his wonderful wife Brandie. Back in High School, Mike was kind of my "body guard" and one of the few "Jocks" I could tolerate being around. When he Married Brandie, they were so happy in love, it was obvious they were made for each other. 
  I was a little sad when I found out that Mike had joined the Army, that meant I wouldn't get to see him for a while, or get to know his wife better. I didn't hear from Mike for a while, a few years in fact, then REAL early one New Years Day, I got a call from him. He said he was stationed in Germany, and just wanted to talk. Though it was exhausted, I talked to him for a few hours, then we went our separate ways.  
  I found him last month after searching for him for years. I didn't get to physically chat him up or see him, but we sent a few text messages back and forth. This morning, when I got online, I found that I got a message. I don't get these very often, and so it was like opening a gift on Christmas Day. That delight quickly got shot to the ground, when I read what it said. My buddy Mike, had passed away. I do not know how, but his wife took the time to tell me about it, that she didnt' know my phone number and will get in touch with me to tell me when his funeral is and what not. I was planning with his wife, to visit in August for a weekend, to get reacquainted and catch up on the things that've been going on in our lives over the last few years. I know that I'll get past this in time, and just because he has moved on from this Earth, doesn't mean I 'm gonna stop talking to his widow and change my plans for a visit. RIP Mike, thank you for touching my life like you did, guys like you are extremely hard to find and I will miss you. Brandie, Dave and I will always be here for you if you need us!

My Little Little Buddy

  Recently, Heather has been diagnosed with PPD, or Post Partum Depression. She's been told to make "Mommy Time" each day without Troy, so while she's taking her Mommy Time, Aunt Jess gets to step in and spend some good quality time with the newest edition of the family.
  We were lying on my bed, trying to get Troy comfortable because of his collic, and after crapping his diaper and letting out a HUGE burp, I got smile after smile. I would talk to him, and he'd grin a huge grin, then when I decided to pull the camera out, he got shy. Finally, while he was mid smile, I caught this one. I thought this was the sweetest look, and I got more after this was shot.  It frustrated Heather because he'd always fuss for her and "Monroe" but whenever he came to me, he would poo, or burp, then  be just fine, barely fussy at all. They feel bad that I'm always watching him, and I told them that if it bothered me, I'd say something.
  I also told them that it gives me the chance to feed my "Baby Hunger" and I love spending the time that I can with some of my nephews. It's fun to watch Tucker feel like he has to compete with Troy for Aunt Jess's attention. I try to give them equal attention when they're both here, but sometimes, one demands more attention than the other. I love seeing their smiles and watching them grow into little people with personalities of their own. I love it when Tucker walks up to me, turns his head to one side and says "Hi" then gives me a hug and a kiss. Some times we get in little "kiss wars" and just have a ball while Heather's with Troy or he's sleeping.

Sooo Cute!

Saturday, the 19th, Dave and I accompanied Lee and Janelle to Riverfest. While we were there, I went through and got all the freebies, including the plastic red fire hat.  My head was too big for it, but got the idea of giving it to Tucker. When I saw him on Monday, I got the hat, and placed it on his head. I thought it was so stinking cute that I had to take a picture of it.

 At first he didn't want it on, but after a while he got use to it. I can honestly say that I love my nephews, and enjoy watching their little personalities grow and show themselves each and every day. I can always count on them to brighten even my darkest of days, and am blessed to have them in my life.

A Hollingsworth Weekend

 Last weekend, Dan and Chrystal came up from Texas for Troy's baby blessing. While they were here, Tucker clung to Chrystal, and it was so fun watching him talk to her, always walk up to her and want to be with her.
  Though there was a little jealousy from me as he treated her the way he normally treats me, I loved seeing them together and just had to get a picture of her holding him. I can definately say that Tucker has good taste in Aunts, and look forward to how he's going to be as a Big Brother, and a Cousin to more than just Troy. I hope he has more cousins in the future. Watching the little bit I saw with Tucker, Chrystal and Dan, I know they'll make good parents someday, and hope they become parents. I really enjoyed Dan and Chrystal's visit, and look forward to them coming back in November.

Well Needed Weekend

The weekend of Mom's "accident", Dave and I went to Salt Lake with Lee, Janelle, Kailtynn and Madison. We would have stayed home, but already had a hotel room reserved and didn't want to cancel it.  They wanted to share a room, but we decided it wasn't a good idea AT ALL, so got a room 4 doors down the hall from them. When we got to Salt Lake, we checked in, got settled in and then met in our room to decide on what we all wanted to do next.  After much delliberation, we all decided to head to Temple Square and then get some dinner. Because we all couldn't fit in one vehicle, Dave and I took the Sonoma and they took their car. Kaitlynn insisted on riding with us, so her parents let her. When we got to Temple Square, we met up with some sister missionaries who gave us a tour of the church on the grounds, the Tabernacle and of course, the Christus.  When we got to the Christus,  as everyone else was listening to the presentation, I sat there, reflecting. I thought about the importance of the Gospel in my life, and how it's effected me.  I looked at the Christus and thought about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us all in the name of love, how he took all our sins upon him. I looked at my Eternal Companion, and thought of the road we traveled together thus far, how we've hit quite a few bumps along the way, but have stayed true and faithful to each other.  Sitting there, I realized I couldn't love him any more than I already do, that I couldn't live or survive without him.
   By this time, Kaitlynn came up and sat next to me, looking down on her, I realized that though I don't have children of my own, and struggle with that, I've been blessed by the children that are in my life. I thought of the many times I've been sad, how the night my mother was attacked by the dogs, while I was cleaning the blood off the floor, crying, Kaitlynn began to cry for me, and I will never forget the look in those blue eyes when she looked at me and said "Don't be sad Jessata, it's otay." Though her mother didn't know if she should've been near me at the time of my grief, Kaitlynn stood there, hugging me and trying to be a big girl and comfort me. I began to think about my neices and nephews, how they're all excited to see me, how the ones on Dave's side maul me and shadow me whenever I visit, and how Tucker seeks me out whenever he comes over.  Thinking about all this made me yearn even more to have children of my own, so as I sat there, I said a little prayer in my heart for guidance on the subject, for understanding and help to accept things.
  The rest of the weekend was interesting to say the least. Kaitlynn had to ride with us everytime we left the hotel or went somewhere, everyone got along and enjoyed themselves. Though we were sad to leave Salt Lake, it was good to get back home and pick up slack around the house. It was a well needed trip for Dave and I, and we plan on going back in the near future.
 

TIE Dying Easter Eggs

 The other day when I was checking out somebody's Facebook page, I found a link with a photo on a "new" way to dye Easter Eggs. Basically what you do is use silk items such as ties, boxers, blouses....
You wrap them raw, and boil them, and this is how they turn out. I used ties on 3 of these ones, and a silk scarf on the other.

 I was curious if it really worked, and as you can see, they turned out cool. Dave loves the blue and yellow one, and said it's too "pretty" to eat. If you want the website I got it from, or instructions on how to do it, let me know, I'll get you the information. It's a fun way to get rid of the old silk ties that you don't want and are just lying around the house.

Best Investment So Far

With some of the money that we got from taxes, Dave decided to let me purchase "The Wave by the Firm". I was stoked to use it, and when I got home I opened it up and read through the booklet it came with. I found a workout calendar along with a menu for the first week of working out. It says you'll see results after 10 workouts, and I'm looking forward to see if they're right.

Tonight I got the chance to try it out for the first time. Being sensible, I decided to not just jump into the whole workout at first, that BABY STEPS would be the best way to start. Tonight I tried the 10 minute workout, and LOVED IT! I showed the workout to Mom, then when she went away, I brought Dave in and showed it to him. Though it wasn't that hard of a workout, it really works your core, and I've been wanting to do another round of it. My goal is to master the 10 minute workout, then add the 2nd workout and follow the schedule they have in the booklet. Once my workouts become a habit, then I'll start working on my diet.

I think I'll take pictures of myself as I go, to see if I can see the difference and maybe show my progress. I know I only tried it once, but I would totally recommend this to anyone who wants to lose weight.

A Fresh Start

This year, the IRS was very good to us. Dave filed our taxes, and discovered we will get $2,500 back in returns. It was a HUGE blessing for us as our storage bill was almost $700 for not being able to catch up on payments. We waited a few weeks and as soon as we saw that we'd gotten our returns, a check was written to our storage and sent to them. We received our state taxes first, then our fedral, and have been monitoring where it's all going.
we got some sheet sets for our bed, a few clothes, "The Wave" for me to work out on, and have managed to help out where needed. We upgraded our phones, and are getting back on our feet slowly, but surely. Before too long, we may be able to find a place that will take us with our animals. I really feel like things are picking up for Dave and I, and who knows what the rest of the year brings, if we keep doing the things we need to, I know that we will truely be blessed.

Our Second Christmas

 Just this month, because money was tight around Christmastime, we, as a family, celebrated a second Christmas. Mom was determined to keep the tree up until we were able to celebrate, and when we did, it was nice. 
  Instead of a "fancy" Christmas dinner, everyone agreed on Pizza. Because of the meds I'm on, I bypassed the pizza and had a dinner of Coke. After Dinner we all opened our presents, it was fun, and to me, more intimate than when it's celebrated on the 25th of Dec.
  Later that night, mom and I were talking and both agreed that it was quite fun to have Christmas in another month other than Dec, and then I suggested maybe doing it the years that the kids visit in-laws for Christmas. Mom seemed to have liked that idea, and hopes that we can all coordinate visits to in-laws. For Dave and I, it's not really a big issue as my family opens gifts in the morning and Dave's family does gifts in the evening, but it's not a fun travel all in one day, especially for that time of year.

A Small Price To Pay

  As everyone knows already, Dave and I have been trying to have kids for almost 6yrs now, and have not had much luck. In November, I had a chat with my Doctor, and she put me on Chlomid (for those of you who don't know what that is-fertility treatments). One of the side effects of this particular drug happens to be HOT FLASHES.
  For those of you who have had them, you can sympathise, for those of you who haven't or can't experience them, drink a glass of boiling water, once you get past the burns in your mouth, focus on how hot you begin to feel, then you'll have a small idea of what it's like.
  Anyhow, since these hot flashes have come, I've lost sleep. I cannot sleep because of the hot flashes or if I manage to fall asleep, they wake me up. It's hell, but I got to thinking, if this stuff works, it'll totally be worth the hot flashes and lack of sleep.
 One thing that keeps me going, and I know a lot of you think I"m crazy for this, but the older I get, and with being on these fertility drugs, it raises my chances for multiple births. I would love to have twins, if I have only one child, that will be good too. According to my doctor, the next step if this treatment doesn't work, will be Invitro. For all you out there reading this, by all means, PLEASE pray for us.